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Do you taste blood in the potatoes and other recent conversations at my house
My sister is a great cook. And she likes doing it. She also has two super weird dogs that do things like lock her outside and a male dog that can’t figure out how to lift his leg to pee. And she should...
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A maxi pad, despite its absorbency, does not do well as a tissue (and other...
A maxi pad, despite its absorbance-based purpose, doesn’t cut it as a substitute for kleenex. Yesterday, while shopping with my mom and sister and bratchild–I got the phone call I had been waiting for...
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Slamazoning and Sleebaying: two conditions from which I suffer
Slamozing and Sleebaying: I honestly don’t see as how these aren’t diagnosed medical conditions. I mean, other than the fact that I just this minute came up with those names and MAY be the only person...
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And now I have to get a tuxedo altered for a skeleton
I’ve accepted the fact that things happen to me that are often ridiculous and that, more often than not, it’s my own doing. The other day, bratchild and I were going to go to thrift stores and Mary’s...
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It was Miss Brown in the kitchen with the sunscreen
And then bratchild, aka Miss Brown for the purpose of this report and to protect the innocent, etc, tried to kill me. In the kitchen. With the sunscreen. As much as I love the game Clue, I fail to see...
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And then I was officially crowned the crazy old lady in the neighborhood:...
I had a frustrating morning of working on an email campaign and fighting with html only to FINALLY make it to the pool for the sky to turn black and the thunder to roll in so everyone had to leave and...
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I was the Pied Piper of the Rocket City Goodwill
Yesterday, bratchild and I went to Goodwill. I was driving by and all of a sudden hollered, “I have to buy a shirt to go with the white tux,” and into the parking lot we careened. I am not overly fond...
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I am the Postal Carrier of the Halloween Craft World
Neither monsoon nor heat nor gloom of night nor too small car nor inappropriate wardrobe choices nor ban from power tools and sharp objects shall keep this crafter from her appointed mess-making....
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Bratchild doesn’t support Bertram’s life choices
We got Bertram, our Elf on the Shelf, years ago before they were super popular and before they were a tool for moms to try to one-up one another. My Elf on the Shelf custom paints masterpieces that...
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Holiday Safety: avoid pants, not ladders
Last week, I got stuck on my roof. Bratchild spent a significant amount of time explaining that me getting on the roof was a stupid idea; I fall up stairs, walk into walls, trip over nothing, etc. She...
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